Proofs of Irrationality
by Anshu
Summary: Seto Kaiba agreed to this relationship with some trepidation. "He called me a 'point.'" "A point?" "A point." A geometric element. "According to him, I'm a spatially limited, isolated fact. I've no significance, no position of my own. I'm only a dot. I exist to give meaning to something else."


**Disclaimer: **Denied.

Plot/idea/OC- ©Anshu 05/11/14.

**Seto/Téa **pairing. Written as various one-shots. Collectively dedicated to **browneyes730. **

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**What It Meant? **

**Why I fell in love with Atem?**

_I didn't have any choice. Or perhaps I didn't realize until it was too late. _

_If I am to explore the possibility…I'd say I love Atem for his all embracing passion. His fixation on the card games aside, he was an honest man, a reflective introvert. Kind hearted- but Yugi (my best friend, Atem's lookalike) had more to contribute to that trait. Still, Atem was never cruel. He was regal but free from bigotry and hypocrisy. He had enormous respect for women, and a dry sense of humor. _

_To know him was to love him. He seemed like an ideal boyfriend material. _

**What went wrong between us?**

_For starters, our age! I was sixteen. He was nearing five thousand or so. In some cultures, mine included, it's severely frowned upon. Not that I care..._

_But I'm mortal, flesh and blood, time-bound, twenty-first century. He was a spirit, ethereal, an indiscriminate time-traveler from ancient Egypt. Sometimes, I wish he were a vampire. Things would have been so much easier. _

**The difference between us…**

_Too many! Atem had a single point agenda. He lived and travelled for a purpose. His road mapped, compass fixed. He had an aim to fulfill. He wanted to save the world from the mother of all evil. Which he did, and left - without looking back!_

_I was, still am, directionless. My ground passes below me. I have no compass or hope to go anywhere. I'm not a savior. I can't even save myself. I don't think I have enough strength left. But I like dancing. It used to cheer me up. I once dreamed of becoming a dancer. Now, even that dream is eluding me. I'm depressed and heartbroken._

**Is it because of Atem?**

_Maybe! Maybe not! I knew he'll leave someday. I prepared myself for it. But when he __**left**__… he created this huge void in me. I feel emotionally dead. I'm corroding. I'm not me anymore. I'm lonely among friends. I smile, I laugh, share a joke… but I'm actually screaming and crying inside. Then there are times when I get restless. And that's worst. Because then I'm tempted to do something insanely reckless. _

**My thoughts on Love. **

_I don't know. Never thought about it! Who does? And it's not like I can consult my friends. My best friends are all male. Understandably, their definition will differ vastly from mine. Still, doesn't love vary from person to person? _

_Personally, love is pain! Or painful!_

**Move forward?**

_How the hell do I do that? It was only a year ago since he left. I told Atem goodbye. It didn't require a great set of skills, or courage. Saying goodbye was easy. Living it – not so easy! Trust me, I've gone through a year worth of painful madness. _

_Besides I can't forget Atem. He's everywhere. In school, he's a - topic. In museums, an exhibit! _

_Time turned him into a history. It wasn't enough that I suffer from the pains of separation. I now have to share him with the world. There's just no exclusivity with him. Historians talk about him with great reverence. Researchers read and honor his existence. World looks upon him as a belonging of past. He's also my past. But I can't confide that to the world. I can't get professional help to get over him. No sane psychiatrist will believe me. Shrinks will prescribe me antidepressants, or sign me up for the loony-bin. Who's going to consider I fell in love with a five thousand years old spirit residing in my best friend's body? They'll think I'm using or abusing substances. I can't risk that. _

_And so…_

_I don't know how to move forward…_

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AN: Seto comes in next chapter. Please read and review.


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